Crossing Over
by janiedmbe
Summary: Caroline has just received the devastating news that her new wife, Kate, has been involved in a car accident. She rushes to the hospital and is taken to one side by the surgeon. Her cry is heard resounding through the hospital but what has she been told? This story rewrites the last 3 episodes of Series 3 while paying total respects to the road that Sally decided to take
1. Chapter 1

"What you need to understand is that Kate, your wife, she lost a lot of blood due to the massive internal injuries she suffered. We have been working very hard to stem the bleeding which was mainly in her abdomen. We delivered the baby and the wee one appears to be fine but we are monitoring her closely."

The surgeon was removing his green apron which was splattered with blood. He deftly removed his gloves, rolling them up one inside the other, and placed them in the bin at the side of him.

"It's a girl?" Celia tightened her grip on Caroline's hand and looked at her grief stricken face.

"Yes but we knew that." Caroline showed little emotion to the news and turned her attention back to the surgeon.

"We had to remove Kate's uterus in an attempt to stop the bleeding. It was touch and go for a while and we nearly lost her on the operating table. But we think we have stemmed the bleeding."

Caroline stared at the surgeon, not really taking all this in. She dabbed at her eyes with the cuffs of her cardigan.

"Your wife is very poorly, very poorly indeed. The next 24 hours will be crucial and she will require round the clock attention and care."

Caroline slowly lifted her head and opened her mouth to speak. She frowned and then looked first at her mother and then back at the surgeon.

"So she is, she is err, she's not dead? Can I, can I see her? Can I see her please?" She looked imploringly at him, her blue eyes bright with tears.

Celia lay her hand on Caroline's arm.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea love."

"I need to see her mum. I need to see her and I need to tell her things. I need to be with her."

The surgeon intervened.

"You can see her but only for a minute. She is unconscious but you should talk to her. Tell her you're there. I am sure she will know."

Caroline nodded and stood up, reaching out her hand which Celia took.

* * *

><p>They walked quickly to the recovery room where Kate was, Caroline anxious not to loose another second of time.<p>

Caroline covered her mouth and took a deep breath. Her wife of just 1 day lay in front of her, attached to machines that were helping her breath, machines that were keeping her alive and keeping track of her blood pressure, her heart rate and her oxygen levels.

She sobbed and reached out her hand, gently stroking the back of Kate's hand, careful not to dislodge the IV tubes that were attached. She stroked her forehead and lifted a piece of dreadlocked hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"You're very pretty" she whispered and she choked back her tears, her bottom lip quivering and her chest quickly raising.

"Kate, I need you to get better do you understand? I need you to get better and come home and help me look after our little girl. I am going to see her soon and I am going to tell her that both her mummies love her very much. I will give her an extra big kiss from you. If she grows up to be half the woman that you are, we will both be very proud of her. She will have the world at her feet. But I need you to be there with me. I can't do this on my own."

The surgeon stepped forward and lay his hand gently on Caroline's shoulder.

"We need to leave Kate now to get some rest. Come on, I'll show you where your daughter is."

Caroline leaned forward and gently kissed Kate, brushing her lips against her nose and her forehead as she stood up.

"I love you Kate." This was probably the first time that Caroline had said this to her and she meant it will every being of her soul.

She turned around and walked towards the door, stopping one last time to look over her shoulder at her broken and battered wife who lay fighting for her life. She blew her a kiss before following her mother out of the door.

* * *

><p>Alan dropped out of step and sat down with Gillian and Gary, who had been waiting patiently for news of Kate.<p>

Gillian characteristically wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"How is she? Kate?"

Alan sat down, looing at both his children. He patted Gillian's knee.

"It's not looking good."

Gillian looked away.

"Oh God. Poor Caroline. And I sent her a text yesterday. A stupid text. I was pissed you see. Me and John we were, we were pissed. Anyway, I sent her this text and it said, it er said that I hoped she had a shit day." Gillian looked down at Alan's hand which was still on her knee.

"You did what? Gillian!" He opened his eyes wide and stared at her.

"I know. What a twillock eh?"

Gary remained silent, he eyes following Celia and Caroline as they disappeared through the door at the end of the corridor.

* * *

><p>They quietly entered the room which was dark and silent. There were 3 incubators lined up against one of the walls and Caroline slowly walked towards them, scanning from left to right to find her daughter. She spotted her straight away and let out a gasp. She was so perfect, so fragile, so small.<p>

"Mum, look." Celia walked to the side of Caroline and linked arms with her, pulling her close and rubbing her upper arm.

"She's gorgeous love, just like her mum"

One of the nurses came from behind her station and walked over towards them.

"Can I help you?"

"Err, I am here to see my err, my daughter. This is her. Is she OK?"

The nurse looked quizzically at Caroline.

"And you are?"

"I am her mum. Well, one of them. Her other mum is, she is err, she was knocked down and she is in, she has just come out of theatre and she is, well, she is still unconscious."

The nurse looked at the chart that was on the bottom of the baby's incubator.

"Ah, I see, yes. Kate McKenzie-Dawson is the birth mother. And you are Kate's wife?"

Celia interrupted.

"Yes, that's right. They were married yesterday. How is the baby?"

"She is doing fine. She is here as a precaution as she is slightly premature. But she is a healthy weight and we aren't unduly worried about her. She just needs a bit of help to get her started. We'll keep her in the incubator for a few days and make sure she get's some extra oxygen. Does baby have a name yet? It's no problem if she doesn't. We just like to be able to call them something other than baby."

"Yes, err Kate and I had well, we had decided on a name for her. I wanted to wait to see her, to see what she looked like before we decided but Kate insisted. Flora. Her name is Flora."

Celia smiled. "What a beautiful name. It is so fitting love."

"Can I, er can I" Caroline was pointing to the holes in the incubator. "Can I touch her?"

"Of course you can" replied the nurse. "You just need to wash your hands first."

Caroline diligently washed her hands and dried them on a paper towel, making sure that she didn't touch anything before she got back to the incubator. She put her hand into the hole, hesitated and withdraw it.

"I'm scared mum."

She took a deep breath, stared straight into Flora's face, and put her hand in again. This time, she reached out to her tiny hand and, just as she had done with Kate, she stroked the back of it, her touch as delicate as the wings of a butterfly. Flora's lips moved and her bottom lip protruded slightly. She pursed her lips and relaxed her face again. Caroline crooned to her.

"Hello sweetheart. I am so excited to meet you. Me and your mummy have waited so long to welcome you. And it's, well, it's not quite the entrance that we had planned for you but you are here now and let me tell you something. You are the luckiest little girl in Harrogate because you have 2 mummies who love you to the moon and back."

Celia stepped forward and put her arms around Caroline's waist, hugging her tight and whispering in her ear.

"Yes she is love. She is one very special and precious little girl."

* * *

><p>Gillian had been very clear about not wanting John around when Gary and his wife turned up for Sunday lunch so, feeling very dejected, he had set off home straight after breakfast.<p>

He made good time and was back in Harrogate before lunch time. He planned to drop by the supermarket and pick up something for lunch convinced that Caroline and Kate would be out of the house - it was the day after their wedding after all.

As he turned the corner into the high street, his mobile phone fell off the car seat.

"Bugger." He reached his left hand down and fumbled about on the floor, feeling for his phone with his fingertips. Taking his eyes off the road for a split second, he located it and picked it up.

As he was straightening up, he heard a loud bang and his car swerved slightly.

"Shit." He looked through his wing mirror and his rear view mirror but couldn't see anything. "Must have knocked a wing mirror or something. Shit."

John pulled the car up in the next available space and casually walked back down the road towards the supermarket. If he had hit another car, perhaps he should leave a note or something.

As he neared the supermarket, he noticed that a crowd was gathering at the side of the road and he hurried to see what was happening.

He could make out someone laid on the floor, face down and in an awkward position.

"I didn't get the make or model of the car but it was green or blue I think. It just turned the corner and hit her then carried on down the road. Is she dead?"

A man was knelt down, feeling the neck of the injured woman.

"No she isn't dead but her pulse is very weak. She needs to get to hospital quickly."

John suddenly felt faint. He looked down at the woman and the reality of what he had done hit him. It wasn't a wing mirror he had collided with. He had run someone down and carried on driving. And with the amount of alcohol Gillian and he had consumed the day before, he was probably over the legal driving limit.

"Do we have a name? Has anyone checked her handbag?"

"Yes. Driving licence says she is Kate McKenzie."

John felt the bile rise in his throat and he swallowed hard. He turned on his heel and ran back towards his car. Stopping briefly to lean on the car door, he bent over and threw up, retching loudly as he emptied his stomach contents all over the road.


	2. Chapter 2

John dropped the car keys twice before he finally managed to unlock the door. He fell into the driver seat and grabbed the steering wheel, hyperventilating and sweating profusely.

"What have I done? What the hell have I done?"

He couldn't get the image of Kate out of his head and the words "Driving licence says she is Kate McKenzie" echoed in his ears.

John waited until he had managed to control his breathing and then he started the car and put it into first gear, setting off slowly from the kerb. He had no idea where he would go but he knew that he couldn't stay here.

He lit a cigarette and rolled the window down to blow the smoke out. He went on autopilot and took the motorway heading south on the A61. He didn't slow down until he turned off the main road to take the rough track up to Gillian's farm. She would know what to do. If anyone would be able to help him, she would.

John was surprised to see the house in darkness when he pulled up into the yard. Celia and Alan's car was there and so was Gillian's land rover. But there were no lights on. He turned his engine off and threw himself back in the seat, hitting the headrest with force. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. He'd just have to wait.

* * *

><p>Gary and Gillian said very little to each other on their drive back from the hospital. Caroline had been in pieces and Gillian didn't know what to do to comfort her. She had met Kate a few times and thought she was a very nice person. But she didn't really know her.<p>

Gary broke the silence.

"So, you and Caroline. Are you close? I mean, you are step sisters but are you close?"

Gillian let out a short laugh.

"I wouldn't say that. We don't really have much in common apart from my dad and her mum being married. I farm sheep and Caroline is a Doctor running a school. Raff is struggling to stay at school and raise Calamity and William is in Oxford doing some snooty degree. Caroline drives a Jeep Cherokee, I drive a second hand land rover. How much further apart can 2 people be? What did you think of her, you know, in the brief time that you saw her?"

Gary looked surprised by the question.

"I don't know. She was in bits wasn't she, not sure whether Kate was dead or alive. I don't think she even knew I was there."

"Of course she knew you were there. Celia told her."

Gary jumped straight in.

"I thought she was, well, I expected her to be a bit you know butch with short hair and wearing jeans and Doc Martins. But she wasn't. She is actually quite pretty. She didn't strike me as being a lesbian at all."

Gillian was taken aback by his comment.

"Oh, so you think that all lesbians look the same. That they have to have short hair and dress like men? God, Gary, you are so narrow minded. "

"I am not. I just don't think that she is really a lesbian, not that I know any. Can I ask you something? Does it bother you, you know, that she is on the other bus?"

"Does it heck. I don't really care as long as she leaves me alone."

Gary laughed and they continued in silence until they reached the track up to the farm house.

"Thanks for driving us to the hospital Gary. I'm sorry that the meal was cut short."

"That's OK. We have our whole lives ahead to get to know each other. And now that Raff will be working for me on the weekend, we might get to see each other more often."

As they pulled into the yard, Gillian spotted John's car.

"Oh God. What the fu … what the hell does he want? I told him that me and Robbie were back on. Why can't the idiot just take the hint."

She was out of the car before Gary had even stopped. Gillian banged on the window, waking John and causing him to jump. He looked shocking. His eyes were red and blood shot and he was in need of a shave. She pulled the door open.

"You look like shit. Have you been drinking?"

"Er hello. Hello Gillian. No. No. No I haven't been drinking. I err I just needed to err have you got a minute? I need to ask you something, to tell you something."

Gillian was getting agitated and she pinched her bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger.

"And you needed to drive all the way here? Now, at night time? Couldn't it have waited?"

"No, no it couldn't. Can I, err, can I park the car in the barn?"

"Why the hell would you want to do that? Is the yard not good enough for you?" Gillian was tired and not in the mood for John and his drivel.

John stumbled over his words.

"I had a bit of a, a bit of an accident and I think the front of the car might be a bit damaged. I wouldn't mind putting it in the barn and having a good look at it."

Gillian grunted and turned away, walking towards the empty barn and opening the door. She then went over to where Gary was waiting in the car.

"It's OK Gary. I can deal with John. Thank you. Thank you so much for driving us."

"No problem. That's what families do. I'll see you soon." He leaned out of the car and Gillian kissed him on the cheek. She stood and watched him drive off and then walked towards the barn where John was still sitting in the car.

* * *

><p>As soon as Gary was over the cattlegrid and on the track towards the main road, he activated the in-car phone and dictated a number.<p>

"It's me, Gary. Sorry, we had a bit of a family crisis. No, it's all sorted now. "

He listened intently to the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Yes, we had a very good chat about the land and the house. They both belong to Gillian. Well, my dad put some money into it but I don't think that is documented anywhere. Yes, I'm sure, I checked twice. It is all bought and paid for. No mortgage, no loans, no landlord. Nothing."

Gary smiled, his eyes wide and his voice excited.

"Can you imagine how many houses we would get on that land? How much money we would make? Yes, I think I can persuade them to sign it over to me. No, they haven't got a clue. That's the beauty of it all. Right, I'll be in touch."

He hung up and tuned into the radio singing along to The Jam and "Going Undergound".

* * *

><p>"So John. What's your game? What are you playing at?" Gillian was bent over talking to John through the open car window.<p>

"Nothing Gillian. I err I just need to speak to you about something. I've done something, something really bad and I don't know what I am going to do."

Gillian laughed. "You? You've done something bad? What, did you tell Caroline she was a mad dyke? Did you tell Celia she was an old battle axe? "

"That's just typical of you Gillian. Typical of you to make a joke out of everything. Can you just for one minute listen ?"

Gillian stepped to one side and opened the car door for John. He started to get out and then put his head in his hands.

"Oh God Gillian. I've done something really terrible. I didn't see her. I didn't even know it was her. I just hit her and carried on driving. She's going to die isn't she? And I'm going to go to prison and my boys will hate me for ever and Caroline will never speak to me again and I, God Gillian, I need your help."

Gillian wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and dug her hands into her jacket pocket.

"Shit. Shit John. Shit. You absolute fu …. You absolute twillock. You knocked Kate over didn't you? You were the one that almost killed Kate? Well, when I say almost I mean that she could still die. She is very ill and the baby, her little girl, she is in an incubator."

John lifted his head and looked at Kate.

"They had a girl? The baby was a girl?" And he turned his head and threw up all over his jeans and his shoes.

"Come on, let's get you inside. I think you need a brandy."

* * *

><p>Caroline sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, reaching over to pick up her glasses from the bedside table. She put them on and then took them off again, leaning her head back on the headboard and sighing.<p>

It was madness to think that only 24 hours ago, she had been laid in bed with Kate chatting about the events of the day before and how lovely it had been to catch up with their friends and family who had come to celebrate their wedding. In spite of everything, she smiled when she remembered the text that Gillian had sent.

She replayed the conversation she had had with Gillian when she phoned to speak to her mum. It was so typical of her, making out that the text was meant to be a bit of fun. And then for Gillian to have the audacity to come along to the hospital and drag Gary along. Caroline had only met him briefly but there was something about him that she couldn't quite put her finger on.

She snuggled back down into the bed and rolled over onto Kate's pillow. She breathed in deeply and inhaled Kate's perfume, her scent. And she closed her eyes and took herself back to their wedding night when she had turned her back on her mum, switched off the light and taken herself upstairs to her new wife.

_Caroline took off her white jacket and placed it carefully over the back of the chair.__Kate turned back the covers and beckoned to Caroline who smiled knowingly at her and walked over to the bed.__Kate reached out her hand and gently pulled Caroline down towards her.__She pulled her dress over her head and climbed on top of Kate, covering her body with hers, her lips exploring her face as she planted tiny kisses around her mouth.__Kate responded, desperate to feel Caroline's touch.__She pulled her face closer to her and kissed her passionately._

_Within minutes, they were laid side by side, each having free access to the other, each able to marvel at the beauty of their bodies.__Kate gently cupped Caroline's breasts as she lowered her mouth and took one of her nipples in her mouth, sucking gently.__Their hands explored lower and Kate stroked Caroline and inserted her hand into her underwear, finding her clitoris and rolling it between her two forefingers.__Caroline moaned softly and placed her own hand over Kate's and started to move it round in circles, gradually quickening the pace until she reached her climax.__Kate smiled and rolled over onto her back._

_Caroline knelt over Kate and prised her legs apart, bending to kiss the inside of her thighs, tenderly nipping them with her teeth.__Kate lay her hands on the back of Caroline's head and run her fingers through her hair, losing herself in the moment and anticipating the feel of Caroline's tongue inside her.__Before long, Kate was writhing in ecstasy as she reached orgasm._

_They lay on their backs looking up at the ceiling, each a little breathless, a light sheen of sweat on their bodies.__Caroline intertwined her fingers with Kate's and rolled over to face her, lifting herself up onto her elbow._

_"__You're very pretty." She smiled at her._

_"__And you're magnificent."_

The gentle knocking on the door startled Caroline and brought her back to her senses. The bedroom door opened and William put his head around the door.

"Hello! Oh William!" Caroline held her arms open for him and he almost ran into the bedroom and hugged his mum.

"I am so sorry mum. So very very sorry. I came back as soon as I heard. Granny called me. You were asleep when I came home and I didn't want to wake you. What happened? How is Kate? What about the baby?"

Caroline told William everything she knew, stopping from time to time to compose herself.

"I am going to get ready and go to the hospital to see how they both are. You can come with me if you want, to see the baby. I'm not sure whether they will let you in to see Kate. But you can see the baby, your sister. You can see Flora."

"I'd like that mum."


	3. Chapter 3

Caroline touched the door handle and pushed down on it. Taking a deep breath, she entered the intensive care unit and walked over to where Kate lay, still attached to a myriad of machines.

"How is she?" she spoke softly to the nurse who was sat in the corner with a number of charts and files in front of her.

"She had a good night. We have taken her off the ventilator and she is breathing on her own so that is a good sign. She still hasn't woken up but that is to be expected. She took quite a bang to the back of her head as she was knocked sideways by the car and her head hit the edge of the kerb. The doctor has given her a number of strong sedatives to keep her asleep. The body heals much better that way."

Caroline nodded. "I see." She was rooted to the spot not knowing whether to move forward or backward. The nurse made the decision for her and, taking her hand, led her to the side of the bed.

"Let me fetch you a chair. You can stay as long as you like. Just remember that Kate needs you to be strong so don't overdo it. No point in you making yourself ill too."

Caroline spoke to the nurse. "Thank you. Does she know err so she doesn't know about err will she know that her baby, our baby, has been born?"

"No one knows what happens to the brain when someone is unconscious Caroline. Kate might be aware that she isn't carrying the baby anymore but we don't know that for sure. How is the baby?"

"Flora? Oh, she is fine. I telephoned the unit this morning and I am going to go and see her later. Do you think they might le t me bring her down here to see her mummy? Do you think that will be possible?"

"Let me find out for you. Why don't you sit with Kate for a while and I will make a phone call to the SCBU and ask them. I don't see why not."

Caroline sat down and took Kate's hand in her own. She looked at Kate's beautiful face, which was surprisingly unscathed by the accident. Silent tears fell down her cheeks and she brushed them away.

"Remember the morning of our wedding? Remember what I said to you about being grateful? Grateful for giving me the courage not to hide anymore? Well, I also want to tell you how grateful I am to you for agreeing to be my wife. For making me the happiest woman on earth. When we said our vows, I had picked out 2 poems to read, did I tell you that? The Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem and another one that I found." Caroline went into her handbag and brought out a piece of paper. She looked at the paper and then at Kate and started reading:

**_This day I married my best friend_**

**_The one I laugh with as we share life's wonderous zest,_**

**_As we find new enjoyments and experience all that's best._**

**_The one I live for because the world seems brighter_**

**_As our happy times are better and our burdens feel much lighter._**

**_The one I love with every fibre of my soul._**

**_We used to feel vaguely incomplete, now together we are whole._**

Caroline choked back her tears and looked up to the ceiling. Her bottom lip protruded a little and she took a series of short, sharp breaths to stop herself from breaking down in a flood of tears.

"I went to see Flora yesterday Kate. She is beautiful, so perfect. And she looks just like you. Her little nose, her eyes. And she is so tiny. And strong. She gripped my finger as soon as she felt me touch her."

The nurse came over and touched Caroline on the shoulder.

"The SCBU say it's OK for you to bring the baby down to see Kate. Did you know she has a visitor? Her brother I think the nurse in charge said."

Caroline smiled. "Yes, it's William my eldest boy."

* * *

><p>John and Gillian were halfway down their second bottle of wine and the subject of the accident hadn't yet come up. It was Gillian that forced his hand.<p>

"Remind me again why you are here?" She looked over at him and ran her thumb along her bottom lip. "Oh yes, it is because you nearly killed your ex-wife's partner."

"Don't be like that Gillian. It was an accident." John widened his eyes in an attempt to focus on Gillian's face.

"So why didn't you stop then? Why are the police looking for your car. Come on John. What's happened?"

"Gosh, where do I start? Well, I left here because you had told me that you were …. Well, anyway, I was on my way home. And, gosh, it must have been when I was turning the corner onto the High Street. I took my eyes off the road for one second, one second and that was when it happened."

John reached out and poured himself another glass of wine.

"We err we had been drinking for most of the afternoon, remember? And I thought that perhaps I was still over the limit. So I kind of err well, gosh, I decided not to stop."

"And you came here, to my house, in the car that you were driving when you knocked someone down?"

John stopped, his glass mid-way to his mouth.

"Yes, that's about it. God, Gillian. God! What do I do? Can we err, can we make the car disappear or something?"

Gillian laughed.

"Who do you think I am? David fu David Coppermine?"

Now it was John's turn to laugh.

"You mean David Copperfield you delightful creature."

"Whatever! Anyway, you can't leave the car here. You need to get it repaired or torch it or sell it or something. Just get it off my land. I have had the police at my door too often. I don't want them coming here for someone who I don't even like."

John put his glass down and, rather unsteadily, he lifted himself up from the table.

"I'm just going to take a look at the car, see how much damage there is to the front err to the front wing thingy. Do you want to come?"

Gillian didn't want to be involved in this. She hated that John had told her about the accident in the first place.

"No I flaming well don't you feckless idiot. Now piss off out of my house, get in your car and go. And John? Don't come back here again."

John staggered to one side as he lost his footing and reached out his hand to steady himself on the dresser.

"Are you sure you won't change your mind? I mean, we are good for each other Gillian. I can support you financially and you can look after your wonderful sheep and I can write. What do you think?"

"John? What part of piss off do you not understand?"

* * *

><p>John sat in the car, the keys in his hand. He didn't know what to do next. One part of his brain was telling him that he had had too much wine and should probably sleep it off. The other part was telling him to get the hell out of there. The last person he wanted to come face to face with was Robbie. He had come to blows with him in the past and didn't fancy his chances today.<p>

Starting the car, John put it into reverse and cautiously manoeuvred out of the barn. He narrowly avoided the back of Gillian's land rover and managed to turn it round in the yard. Putting it into first gear, he floored the accelerator, spinning the wheels before he set off down the track towards the main road.

As the car hit some of the potholes in the road, John was vaguely aware that his vision wasn't as clear as it should have been and he squinted tightly. Breathing a sigh of relief when he finally reached the main road, he turned left and headed towards the A61 and back home to Harrogate.

* * *

><p>Gillian looked at the caller ID on her phone, expecting John to be ringing her. But it was Gary.<p>

"Gary! How are you?" She rolled her eyes and took a big swig from her glass.

"Are you and Robbie free Friday evening to come for dinner? I wanted to return the invite. We had a lovely time at yours the other Sunday."

Gillian ran her fingers through her hair. She was OK with Gary but she didn't want to start living in his pocket. His wealth and success made her very uncomfortable.

"Oh, you don't need to do that. We came to yours, you came to ours. Don't think you have to keep inviting us just because we have invited you. We cou ..."

Gary interrupted.

"And do you think Caroline would like to come too? She is more than welcome. I am sure that her and Felicity will have lots to talk about."

Gillian was muttering under her breath.

"Not sure about Caroline. Well, I don't know how she is coping to be honest."

Gary was pacing his office, digging his hands deep into his pocket. He needed to move things forward, needed to get Gillian on board with his plans before it was too late and the opportunity was lost.

"No, I insist. I won't take no for an answer. I'll expect to see you at 7.30pm. Alan and Celia are welcome. Oh, and Raff and his little lot. Bye then."

Gillian took the phone from her ear and looked at it.

"Gary? Gary? Oh bollocks." She put the phone on the kitchen table and poured herself another large glass of wine. She really did need to stop drinking on her own during the day.

* * *

><p>Concentrating on the road was proving too much for John and he was struggling to keep focussed and stay awake. He had already pulled over twice and smoked far too many cigarettes.<p>

As he rounded the bend and started to cross the River Wharfdale, his tired eyes momentarily closed and in that split second, he lost control of the car. The sound of another car beeping the horn at him made him jerk his head back and he over compensated and steered the car too far to one side. He left the road and careered down the embankment, the rough and uneven ground causing him to be thrown up and down like a rag doll, his head banging against the window and the steering wheel. The car only stopped when the front end hit the water.

* * *

><p>Caroline was overcome with emotion when she saw William and Flora together. He was sat at the side of the incubator looking at her and crooning. From time to time, he placed his hand inside and stroked her leg or her head.<p>

He looked up as he heard her enter the room.

"Hello love. How is she?"

William smiled, his eyes full of love.

"She is perfect mum. She looks just like Kate."

"I know. I was just telling Kate that. They have said that we can take her down to see her."

William looked down at the floor.

"Can I just wait in the café or outside. Is that OK?"

He turned to look at the nurse who was getting the incubator ready for moving. Caroline smiled and nodded.

"Of course you can love. It may be best for you to wait until Kate is a little better before you see her. How long will she be err how long before I can take Flora home?" Caroline was looking at the nurse, her eyes full of questions.

"We are going to take her out of the incubator later today and gradually withdraw the feeding tube. I think she will be back home with you by Friday. Is that OK?"

Caroline hesitated.

"Yes, err yes, that will be OK. It will be strange taking her home without her mum but yes, that will be OK. I just need to do a few things at home to get ready."

Flora was surprisingly awake when the entered the intensive care unit. It was almost as if she knew where she was going and that she was finally going to meet her mum for the first time.

Caroline entered the room first and walked straight to the bed. She stroked Kate's cheek and bent to kiss her.

"Guess who we have brought to see you? The baby. Flora. She is here to see you."

The nurse wheeled the incubator to the side of the bed and discretely walked away.

"Say hello to your mummy Flora." Caroline suddenly felt very silly holding a conversation between 2 people who couldn't respond and she remained quiet, touching first Kate's arm and then Flora's.

The nurse approached Caroline.

"I think that both of our ladies have had enough, don't you?" Caroline nodded and rubbed her nose in an attempt to stop the tears.

She bent forward and gently kissed Kate lips then quickly walked out of the room, smoothing her hair and searching in her handbag for her car keys. She was halfway down the corridor by this time and didn't see Kate's eye's flicker and the index finger on her left hand rise and fall very slowly.


	4. Chapter 4

The water flooded into the old BMW and quickly filled the foot well. The cold and the wetness caused John to stir and he groaned and turned his head from side to side.

It took him a while to compute where he was and he started to panic, scrabbling around for the seat belt so that he could free himself.

The water was rapidly rising and the front of the car was starting to dip and get pulled to the left, getting taken by the current of the river. John didn't have much time left to get out of the car.

His mind went back to the accident, to the precise moment when he had struck Kate as she crossed the road. He needed to get out of the car and tell Caroline he was sorry. He needed to know that Kate would be alright. And at that precise moment, John knew that he wasn't going to let himself die.

John tried without success to open the car door. He twisted round so that his feet were touching the window and he kicked out with all the strength that he could muster. The door didn't move. He tried again, this time aiming his kick at the window. Still nothing and he was quickly running out of air.

He took a final deep breath before the water completely filled the inside of the car. Grabbing hold of the door handle, he pushed against it and it gave way, opening wide, allowing John to swim out. That was the last he remembered before everything went black.

* * *

><p>Caroline was sitting on the sofa watching her mum feed Flora. She tilted her head and smiled at them. It was a lovely picture and there was such tenderness in Celia's face as she lifted the bottle allowing Flora to drink the last of the milk.<p>

"It was never meant to be like this mum. Kate and me had planned it all out. The birth, our first night in the house together, our time while I was on maternity leave. And then all this happened. Kate injured in such a violent accident and Flora ripped from her to save both of their lives."

Celia looked over at her only daughter.

"I know love. But it is what it is and we just have to make the best of it. Have you thought about what you are going to do while Kate is still in hospital? You know, with the baby."

"I think of nothing else sometimes but haven't reached any decisions. To be honest, I am just living from one day to the next, going from one task to the next one and trying to keep my head above water. I don't know how much more of this I can take." Caroline rubbed her fingertips on her cheeks and sighed.

"You know that me and Alan will do all we can to help you don't you? Why don't you leave little flossy here and go the hospital to see Kate? That might take your mind off things a little bit."

"Are you sure? Only if you are sure. Yes I will. I think I will. I am not sure if it will take my mind off things though. But thank you."

* * *

><p>Caroline had been sitting with Kate for almost half an hour, holding her hand and chatting to her. She found it hard to believe that she wasn't just sleeping and she was tempted to tickle her nose to wake her up. She had already told her about Gillian and Robbie and their plans to marry, Gary and his attempts to get accepted into the family, and William and Lawrence.<p>

"And Flora slept almost 6 hours last night between sleeps. It was great. And when she "

Suddenly there was a slight pressure on her hand and she stopped mid-sentence.

"Kate? Kate? Can you do that again? Can you squeeze my hand again?"

Nothing. Caroline gently squeezed but got nothing back. She couldn't hide her disappointment.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, when Flora eventually woke up for her bottle, she just lay there and gurgled and then"

This time, the pressure was greater and Caroline stood up, keeping hold of Kate's hand. She leaned over her and gently stroked her face.

"Kate? Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes? Can you squeeze my hand again?"

Caroline looked down at her hand for signs of any movement and when she looked back up at Kate's face, she was staring straight into her big brown eyes. The eyes she thought she would never see open again, the eyes she had prayed to look into just one more time.

"Oh my goodness! Kate!" Caroline started to smile and then the tears flowed unashamedly down her face.

"Hello." Her voice was husky, almost sexy, and Caroline laughed.

"Hello Mrs McKenzie-Dawson. Wherever you have been, I am so very glad you are back."

* * *

><p>Gillian and Robbie were acceptably late when they arrived at Gary's house. He opened the door and warmly greeted them both.<p>

He sounded disappointed when he realised that they were on their own.

"Dad is over in Harrogate helping out Caroline with the baby. Kate is still in hospital and everyone is rallying round and doing their bit. Even me! I was there yesterday and had her for the afternoon while Caroline went to the hospital. She is such a cute little baby."

"Don't worry, that's fine. Felicity always makes enough food to feed an army. We can put it in the freezer."

Robbie raised his eyebrow at Gillian and they followed Gary into the living room.

"Drink anyone? Gillian? Do you want a glass of red?"

"You know me Gary. Never one to say no. Robbie will just have a small glass."

"Gee thanks Gillian. Not even married and you are bossing me around." He dug her playfully in the ribs and sat down on the sofa."

Gary poured the drinks and came and sat with them, chatting easily about their wedding plans and Caroline and Kate.

"So, what's the price of sheep like nowadays Gillian? I bet you make a killing on that farm of yours."

Gillian did a double take at Gary.

"Are you kidding? I barely make enough money to scrape by most weeks. But I love what I do. If I can keep food on the table, and pay the bills, then I will keep doing it. At least I don't have to pay rent or a mortgage. That's something at least."

Gary pretended to be shocked.

"Do you own the land and the house then? Blimey, I'm not the only one in the family to have earned a bob or two. Is it worth anything, the land? You know, to develop and build on?"

"Oh, err, I don't know. I have no idea. I would never sell the land." Gillian sipped her wine and looked over at Robbie. He placed her hand on her knee and squeezed it.

"You know if you ever need a hand with anything on the farm, then I don't mind helping you out you know. We're family after all. Have you ever thought of getting a partner in to help you? I could be a sleeping partner. One that gives you money to develop the farm but doesn't make any decisions on how you spend it."

Gillian looked at him with an open mouth.

"That's a very nice offer Gary but I couldn't let you do that. Honestly, I can manage."

"But you just said you were struggling." Gary raised his voice. "I could help you out. Why don't you let me help you?" He was getting angry now and suddenly realised how he must have sounded.

"I'm sorry Gillian. Oh God. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get angry. It's just that you're my family and I hate to see you go without."

Gillian put her glass down on the table and stood up.

"I appreciate your offer Gary but I am not a charity case. And you might be family but I have only known you 5 minutes. I'm not going to take your money. I'm just going to the loo."

Robbie tutted and shook his head.

"Sorry mate. Women eh? She is very protective over that farm you know. She has put her heart and soul into it and she would never give it up. She'll be fine, honest. Give her 5 minutes and another glass of wine."

Gary smiled a very fake smile. He was getting nowhere with this. He would have to rethink his plan. There had to be something that he could say or do that would make Gillian change her mind about allowing him to become a sleeping partner. She was sitting on a goldmine and even if she didn't realise it, he certainly did.

* * *

><p>The nurse called the doctor and within 5 minutes, he was checking Kate's statistics and looking at her charts. He took her blood pressure, checked her vision and looked at her pain relief.<p>

All the while, Caroline was standing patiently to one side, looking intently at Kate, her hands clasped in front of her. She was anxious to be with Kate again, to speak to her and to hold her.

The doctor took a step back and smiled at Caroline.

"Your wife is doing very well. She still has a way to go yet but she is making excellent progress and her vital signs are encouraging. You need to remember that Kate will be very tired. Her body has taken a hell of a knock. And all she will want to do for a while is sleep. But I am confident that she will make a full recovery."

"Thank you so much. I really don't know what to say to you other than thank you." Caroline held out her hand and the doctor shook it.

"It's what we do Caroline. We take people who are broken and we fix them."

The corners of Caroline's mouth turned up.

"You have put back together the most precious thing in my life. Thank you for fixing her."

Caroline approached the bed again and stroked Kate's hair off her face. Her hand lingered on her cheek and Kate's eyelids fluttered. She slowly opened them and smiled as she saw Caroline looking at her.

"Hello again. Have I missed anything?"

"Well, it's funny that you should ask." Caroline struggled to fight back the tears and she silently sobbed.

"How is the, the baby?"

Kate's eyes grew wider and she moved her hand to her stomach. She was terrified when she didn't feel the baby. A loud sob escaped from her mouth.

"It's OK. Shhhh. It's OK. The baby is fine. Flora is absolutely fine. Very pretty just like her mummy and probably, at this very moment in time, screaming the house down and driving my mum and Alan up the wall."

"Oh my god! Is she really OK?"

Caroline nodded and through her tears she managed to say "Yep". She held Kate and the two women cried for their baby and for each other and the love that they both felt.


	5. Chapter 5

"I don't know Gillian. I just think there is something not quite right about Gary. I know he is Alan's son, your half brother, but I just don't like him. He seems too good to be true."

They had had a nice meal with Gary and Felicity, who were the perfect hosts, and they were on their way home. Gillian looked over at Robbie and, in the darkness, could just about make out his expression.

"I know what you're thinking and you really shouldn't do it. It's not right."

"How do you know what I am thinking eh? Psychic now are we?"

Gillian pursed her lips and blew long and hard.

"I know that look Robbie. I've seen it once too often."

"Well, it won't hurt will it? It won't hurt for me to have a quick check on him when I get into work tomorrow. You know, just to see if he got any of his millions dishonestly."

Gillian laughed. "I think he is far too smart for that. Too smart by half."

* * *

><p>Gary was pacing the living room, his hands in his pockets and his head back looking at the ceiling. He was frustrated that he had annoyed Gillian by suggesting he put some money into the farm. And he was even more frustrated that she had said no.<p>

He would have to think of another way to get his hands on the farm and the land that went with it. Obviously, torching the old land rover hadn't been enough to scare Gillian. The fire brigade told her it was either lightning or an electric fault and she had believed them. Then there were the few incidents where he had arranged for some of her sheep to be attacked and killed. That hadn't worked either. And marrying Robbie hadn't convinced her to move away from the farm. Not that Gary had anything to do with that but he had secretly hoped she would pack in the farming and move in with Robbie.

No, he would have to move in hard on this one. There was only one person who could persuade both Gillian and Alan to sell the farm and he had just taken him on as a Saturday lad. Raff.

* * *

><p>Caroline was up early on Saturday and was getting Flora dressed in her coat and hat when Celia came into the kitchen.<p>

"Morning love. You're up early. What are our plans for today? Me and Alan are thinking about going over to Halifax to see Gillian and Raff."

"Morning mum. I am, well we are, that's Flora and me, we are going to the hospital to see Kate. When she woke up yesterday she was so frightened that the baby had died. It was awful mum. And I promised her that I would take her in to see her. The doctor said it was OK. He said it might, you know, make Kate get better quicker."

"I am sure it will. Well, you drive safely won't you. You know I don't like that little Fiat. It doesn't feel safe somehow. When are you going to get your Jeep back? You can't leave it on the High Street for ever you know. Someone will try to pinch the wheels or something."

Caroline turned her back on Celia and busied herself with the baby.

"Yes, I know mum. It's just that I can't face driving it yet. I know that Kate wasn't driving it when she was, yes, well, at the time. And I know it is totally irrational. But I just can't."

"Do you want Alan or me to go and bring it back? I can drive our car and Alan can pick it up. Do you have the keys?"

"Oh, well, I think that Kate must have them, that they must be in Kate's handbag or something. I have a spare set though. Would you mind? Would you mind bringing it back?"

"Of course we don't mind. It's the least we can do." Celia walked over to Caroline and rubbed her arm. "You know that I love you don't you? And I don't like to see you upset like this."

"Yes mum, I know. And I love you too." Caroline planted a kiss on her nose and went to find the spare keys.

"So, you're off to see your mummy then?" Celia coo'ed over the baby, rocking the car seat backwards and forwards on the kitchen counter and pulling faces at her. Caroline stood leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed and a smile on her face.

* * *

><p>John wasn't found until 3 hours after the crash by which time he was in severe hypothermic shock. His life was hanging by a thread by the time the paramedics had got him on a trolley and on his way to hospital. After 4 days in intensive care, he had still not regained consciousness and the team were getting worried.<p>

The Accident Investigation Unit had taken the car to their compound to do further tests on it. They needed to determine what had caused the car to career off the road and into the river. They had also had intelligence that a similar car had been seen in the area when a pedestrian was knocked down and seriously injured at the weekend so they wanted to look into this further and rule John out from their investigations.

The police had relayed all this information to Caroline who was still listed as his next of kin. She had listened and then promptly filed away the possibility that he was in any way connected to Kate's accident. She couldn't handle that at the moment. Caroline politely explained to the police that she was divorced from John and was very busy looking after a new born baby whilst her wife was in hospital. She had enough to deal with and she knew that thinking too long about John would possibly tip her over the edge and cause her to have some sort of mental breakdown.

Lawrence was the only one who visited John while he was in hospital. He flatly refused to travel with Caroline when she went.

"How can you be so cruel to dad? You were married to him for nearly 20 years. Didn't that mean anything to you?"

Caroline was just leaving the house when Lawrence started on her.

"Of course it did. John was, well, he is your dad. Of course it means something to me. Without him, I wouldn't have had you or William. Oh, Lawrence. Why can't you just try to get it? You are 16 years old. Surely you can try to understand."

Lawrence was putting on his jacket when he suddenly spun round.

"I have tried mum but I don't understand how one minute you are having sex with dad and the next minute you are a muff munching old dyke."

Caroline opened her mouth and started to speak then thought better of it. She stood with her hands on her hips and sighed.

"You know what Lawrence. I am not even going to go there. All you need to know is that I love you and William. Always have, always will. Who I choose to sleep with has no bearing on that. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to visit Kate in hospital. You are very welcome to come with me if you want to see your dad. I will even put your sister in the back of the car so that you can sit up front with me like a big boy if that is what you want." She turned round and threw a few things in her handbag.

Lawrence grunted.

"I'll be in the car."

* * *

><p>Caroline couldn't believe how nervous she felt when she walked down the corridor towards the side ward where they had moved Kate. She had butterflies as big as crows in her stomach and she felt physically sick. Introducing a baby to it's mother should be easy but it felt far from it for Caroline.<p>

Kate was sleeping when she peered through the door so she entered as quietly as she could and juggled a chair with the baby carrier. She placed Flora on the floor and sat down on the chair, reaching out to touch Kate.

It was almost as if someone had sounded an alarm bell in the room because Kate suddenly opened her eyes and started to sit up. She winced at the pain in her stomach and lay back down again.

"Here, let me help you." Caroline was on her feet and lifting the back of the bed up, plumping the pillows as she did so and making Kate more comfortable. Once she was in a more upright position, she tenderly kissed her and stroked her forehead.

"Dr Elliot! Do you know the effect that you have on me?"

Caroline laughed.

"Excuse me, less of the Dr Elliot. I am known as Dr McKenzie-Dawson around here. But you can call me Caroline."

Kate smiled.

"Sorry, I keep forgetting. Err, haven't _you_ forgotten something?"

Kate was looking around her, craning her neck and trying to see the floor at the bottom of the bed.

Caroline teased her.

"I don't think so. I've brought you some fruit, some clean pyjamas, more underwear and that book you asked for. No, no. I think I've remembered everything."

Just as Caroline finished talking, Flora started getting restless and she let out little whimpering noises. Kate opened her mouth and gasped, her eyes filling with tears.

"Is that my baby, our baby? Is that Flora?"

"Well, it isn't Lawrence. Mind you he has been acting like a big baby these past few days."

Caroline moved to the end of the bed and bent down to unfasten Flora from the baby carrier. She lifted her up and carried her over to the bed, taking off her hat and unfastening her coat.

"Flora, meet your mummy. Your other mummy." And she carefully placed her in Kate's arms, standing back so that she could take in the whole scene.

Caroline was filled with so much joy and love watching the 2 ladies in her life bond with each other. Kate instantly knew what to do, how to hold her. Flora opened her eyes and stared at her, almost as if she had been waiting for this moment, waiting to meet her birth mother. Kate stroked her hands, taking in every detail of her little fingers and nails. She then moved onto her face and with the side of her forefinger, she stroked her cheeks, her nose and her forehead. She gently played with her ears and the back of her neck. The smile on her face said it all. Flora was where she belonged – in the arms of her birth mum, the one who had carried her for 9 months. There was no doubting that Caroline loved her and that they had bonded but Kate was the one she needed now.

* * *

><p>Gary didn't waste much time getting to Raff. He had only just got to work when he sought him out.<p>

"Raff! My favourite nephew"

"Your _only_ nephew!"

"Listen, you know the farm? Well, yes of course you know the farm. Well, has your mum ever said she wanted to sell up and move? You know, to move in with Robbie?"

Raff frowned at Gary, not quite sure what he was getting at.

"Mum? No way! No way! She wouldn't sell that farm. It's who she is, it's in her blood. No, she wouldn't sell it. Not for a million quid."

"But she's had a bit of bad luck just recently hasn't she? Dead sheep, burnt out land rover. Is she not scared of being up there?"

"Nothing scares me mam" Raff replied. "In fact, it just makes her more determined to stay."

Gary was quickly losing his patience and he shot forward and grabbed Raff by the shoulders.

"Find out from your mum what she plans to do. Alright? I want to know."

Raff was a little shocked. "Alright! Alright! No need to get rough. I'll ask her, OK?"

Gary stepped back, surprised at what he had done.

"Yeah, yeah, just don't forget will you."

* * *

><p>Kate was still holding Flora when Caroline noticed her eyes starting to shut. She stood up and took the baby.<p>

"Come on little one. Your mummy needs to get some sleep."

Kate stirred. "Oh, don't. I can't bear to be without her now. Caroline, leave her here with me, please."

"Absolutely not! You need your sleep and this little madam is up 3 or 4 times in the night wanting feeding. You won't manage. You need to stay here and get stronger. You're no use to us in this stage.

Kate stuck out her bottom lip and opened her big brown eyes. Caroline did the same back.

"It won't work lady. I am immune to your powers."

Kate grinned. "No you are not. I bet that I could make you fall onto your knees with just one touch."

Caroline laughed.

"I am not doubting that you couldn't but less of the smutty talk in front of our daughter. And you're supposed to be poorly. You have such a filthy mind Mrs McKenzie-Dawson."

"I wasn't bad until I met you Mrs McKenzie-Dawson. You are a bad influence on me."

"Just you wait until I get you home." Caroline bent and kissed her, longing to be able to hold her and make love to her. "I'll show you how bad I can be."

"I hope that is a promise because I will hold that thought in my mind."

* * *

><p>Lawrence was already standing by the side of the car when Caroline approached. He looked defeated. Caroline wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be OK but she knew that if she did she would be lying.<p>

"How's your dad? Did the doctor say anything?"

Lawrence shrugged and dug his hands deeper into his pocket.

"Much the same. They are going to do a brain stem cell test tomorrow. What does that mean?"

Caroline stopped and looked at him.

"Well, it err, well, it means that they are going to look and, err look and see if … OK, so, no one knows how long your dad was under water for and it might that he was starved of oxygen for too long. So they want to see if his brain is working properly or if it is the machines keeping him alive ."

Lawrence looked directly at Caroline.

"You mean, he might be a cabbage and they are just keeping him alive for the laugh?"

"I wouldn't exactly have put it that way myself and no, that is not entirely true. But I guess the upshot of it is that he might not be able to cope on his own without the breathing machine. So they are going to check if he is strong enough."

Lawrence few into Caroline's arms and hugged her close.

"Is he going to die mum?"

"I don't know love. I really don't know."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hello? Yes, this is she." Caroline stopping wiping the kitchen counter and listened intently to the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Does this have to be done now. Today? Can't you wait? He has a … we have another son who is away at University and I am sure he would like to er would want to be there."

She paced about the kitchen and then went down the hallway, quietly shutting the living room door. Returning to the kitchen, she sat down at the table and put her head in her hands. She ran her fingers through her hair and looked out of the window.

"Yes, I understand. So he is not brain dead then? How long will he, er how long will it take before you know before he … oh, I see. Yes, OK, hmmm. Thank you. I will make the call now and see you tomorrow. 10am? Yes, I think we can make that."

Caroline put the phone down and chewed on her thumb nail. She was dreading the next phone call she would have to make. William had shown no interest in returning home to see John since his accident and she was unsure of how he would react to the news that they were taking him off his ventilator and that there was every chance that he woudn't be able to breathe on his own.

"William? Hello, it's mum. Yes, everything is OK with Kate. Stop, just stop. Slow down and listen. It's not Kate or Flora it's er it's your dad. Can you get up here for 10-o-clock tomorrow?" Caroline was worried that he would say he was busy or had an important lecture or something. "The doctors want to discuss something with us and he said it was well it is important and he would like us all to be there. OK? I'll see you later than. Safe journey. Love you."

It was one of the hardest phone calls she had had to make and she was physically shaking when she put the phone down. Oh God, she still had 24 hours to wait.

* * *

><p>Kate was sat in the chair by the window when Caroline arrived. Her smile lit up the whole room and Caroline stopped in her tracks to admire her.<p>

"Oh my God, look at you! You look wonderful. Well, you don't but you look a million times better than you did yesterday."

Caroline walked towards her and took her in her arms, gently stroking her back and shoulders.

"How are you feeling? You really do look wonderful you know. The colour is coming back into your cheeks and that sparkle is returning to your eyes." She looked at her with such tenderness and sincerity.

"Hold me some more Caroline. I have really missed you. This past week and a bit has been torture without you. I miss our kisses, our cuddles, our debates and discussions. I miss knowing that you will be there when I fall asleep. I hate knowing that I won't see your face when I wake up."

Caroline folded Kate into her arms and kissed away the tears that were slowly running down her cheeks.

"Don't cry, please don't cry. It will be OK, I promise you. We have our whole lives ahead of us. Years of falling asleep together in each other's arms. Years of waking up with each other."

She held Kate at arms' length and looked deep into her eyes.

"You just need to get better. Flora and me, well we miss you too. We need you home with us."

Kate wiped her nose with the back of her hand and sniffed loudly.

"You don't know how much I want to be home with you, to be a family together. I have thought about nothing else since I have been in here. I am desperate to come home."

Caroline perched on the chair arm and draped her arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close to her.

"I know you do sweetheart. I want you home too. And so does Flora."

"How is she? Is she still keeping you awake at night? You see, that's why I need to be at home so that I can get up with her and feed her or make her feel better."

"She err well she does still wake up crying sometimes. I think she is crying for you. I know she is crying for you. She misses you." Caroline ran her fingers up and down Kate's arm and she felt Kate shiver under her touch.

"Are you cold? Do you want to get back into bed and get under the covers?"

Kate laughed. "No I am not cold. It's you. Your touch. I want you Caroline, I want you here and now."

"Mrs McKenzie Dawson! You really are a one you know that don't you." Caroline teased her.

"Talking of Flora, where is she?" Kate looked around.

"I don't think we were talking of Flora but she is with my mum and Alan. I have to go and see, well, I have been asked to go and see John's doctors this morning and discuss, well talk about something delicate with him. They want to err turn off his ventilator." She looked down at her hands and at her wedding ring, Kate's wedding ring and then reminded herself that she wasn't married to John anymore.

"Oh, I see. What doe Lawrence and William think about it? Will William be able to get away from University?"

Caroline had still not told Kate that John was the one who was responsible for the accident, the one who had put her in hospital the day after their wedding. She knew that Kate wasn't strong enough to hear that yet.

"Yes, I spoke to him yesterday. There is no guarantee that John will, well that he won't err, the doctors don't know what will happen when they take him off the ventilator but I thought that the boys ought to both be there."

Kate looked at Caroline, sensing that she was upset by all this. She understood that 20 years of being with someone couldn't just be forgotten overnight.

"How is Lawrence?"

"Upset. Angry. Confused. He might be 16 but I am not sure he really understands you know. Really understands the whole situation and what John has done. I know that he is his dad and he was a good dad, he really was, well when he wasn't pissed and sleeping with Judith. William, well he is different, he always has been. He can see right through John, see through his lies and his deceit. I am not sure how he will be. He is getting here at 10-o-clock."

Caroline bent to kiss Kate and she lingered, wanting to stay with her and hold her close.

"I had better be going. The boys will be here soon." She stood up and smoothed down her jacket.

"Come back here before you go home. Please. If you can that is." Kate was scared for her.

"I will. I am sure that William will want to see you. I'll see you later."

Caroline walked out of the room with a confidence that she just wasn't feeling.

* * *

><p>Gillian was tinkering with the tractor when she heard her mobile ring. She put down her spanner and lifted herself up off the ground, reaching out blindly for her phone. Without looking who was ringing, she answered it.<p>

"Gillian, it's Gary. Just ringing to see if you had thought any more about me putting some money into the farm."

"Gary! How are you?" Gillian rolled her eyes and pinched her bottom lip between her thumb and forefinger.

"Fine, yes, fine. So, have you thought about it? Talked to Alan? My solicitor can draw up a contract pretty quickly and I can have the money transferred into your bank within hours. What do you think?"

"You don't give up do you? Gary, I don't want your money. I don't need your money. Well, it will come in handy but I have managed so far without it. Listen, I've got to go, I am in the middle of worming the sheep and my hands are well, my hands are where you wouldn't even want to go. I'll speak to you later. Bye. Bye bye."

She slammed the phone down on the tractor bonnet and put her hand on her hip, playing with her pony tail. Picking up the phone again, she dialled Robbie,

"Hi, it's me. Are you busy?"

"Well hello. I am never too busy for a chat with you." Robbie was at his desk trying to clear his paperwork that had slowly built up.

"Did you get a chance to look up Gary on your computer data thingy? To see how he got all his millions."

Robbie looked around him to see if anyone else was near.

"Not yet. I haven't had chance. But if you can hang on, I'll have a look." He turned on his computer screen and started tapping away at the keys.

"Speeding fine a couple of years ago. Doing 54 in a 40 zone. Naughty boy." Robbie tutted. "A parking fine. Oh, how disappointing." Robbie carried on scrolling down the page while Gillian paced around the tractor.

"Hang on, hang on a minute. What's this? Oh this is interesting.

"What? Robbie? Robbie? What is interesting? What have you found? Robbie you tw …"

"Hold your horses. Patience, lady. I need to read this." Gillian could hear the scroll wheel on the mouse and the clicking of keys.

"Seems like your brother hasn't always played things by the book. There is something in here about a few dodgy property deals that he has been involved in. One that was totally illegal and landed his partner in jail. And one where he fleeced the poor bugger selling the land and ended up with the lot. Well, he didn't because they found out that what had done was deception. Gillian? Gillian, are you there?"

Gillian had already hung up and was striding across the field towards the farm house. She knew there was something not right about Gary. He was far too nice, far too willing to please. She pulled open the front door and grabbed the keys to the land rover. There was only one place she was going and that was to Harrogate to see her dad.

* * *

><p>Caroline stood at the foot of the bed, Lawrence and William on either side of her, her arms wrapped around their waists. The doctor had explained what was going to happen and they were waiting tentatively.<p>

"If he stops breathing when you take the tube out what will happen?" Lawrence asked the question. "Will you put it back in again?"

The doctor came forward and took one of his hands.

"We can't keep your dad on a life support machine indefinitely. The tests we did on his brain told us that it is still working, but we don't know how much. If he cannot breathe on his own then there is nothing we can do. I'm sorry but we have done all we can."

Lawrence looked up at Caroline.

"Can't you do anything? You are a doctor aren't you? You have a doctorate in something." He started to cry.

"Mum isn't that sort of doctor you dick." William was quick to respond.

"You're the dick." Lawrence shouted.

"Boys, boys. This is neither the time nor the place. You're both upset, I understand that. But shouting at each other won't do anyone any good."

The doctor nodded his thanks at Caroline and walked over to the top of the bed and started to remove the tape that was holding the breathing tube in place. There was a nurse who was busying herself at the monitor, making notes and printing out charts.

Caroline suddenly felt sick. She needed to be here for her sons but she wanted to turn and run. However, she wasn't sure that her legs would carry her. She was shaking and she leaned on William for support. For all that John was and had done, she was sure that she had loved him at some point. She wouldn't have married him otherwise would she?

The machine flat-lined as everything was disconnected and time seemed to stop in the room. Everyone held their breaths as they looked over at the doctor who was stood by John watching for any sign of him breathing on his own. 5 minutes passed, then 10. All of a sudden, John seemed to gasp for breath, a rasping sound coming from his throat. His chest rose and dropped a number of times in quick succession and then nothing. The doctor calmly felt his neck for a pulse and then lifted his hand and felt his wrist. He gently placed John's hand back on the bed and smoothed the covers. Slowly, he walked over to the family who were stood watching.

"I am so sorry. John just wasn't strong enough to be able to breathe on his own. I am so very sorry for your loss."

Lawrence buried his head into Caroline's shoulder and sobbed. She put her hand on his head and held him close to her. William stood, looking shell shocked and then slowly, a tear trickled down his cheek. Caroline felt very indifferent. She was sure the tears would come later but for now she had to be strong for her boys who had just lost their father.


	7. Chapter 7

The car was silent on the way home, each one deep in their own thoughts and memories of the man they had just lost. For all his faults, he was a good man. He just hadn't grown up enough to be able to face the world as an adult.

The thing that was troubling Caroline was having to tell everyone that John was the one who was responsible for Kate's accident and that he been driving under the influence when it happened. So far, she was the only one who the police had spoken to but when this all came out, when people started asking if they had caught the person responsible, the truth would eventually be heard.

Lawrence ran out of the car and stormed into the house, running straight upstairs. Caroline could hear him sobbing before he had even closed his bedroom door. She would go up and see him later. William waited until Caroline was out of the car and, holding her hand, they both walked into the house together.

Celia and Alan were in the living room with Flora and they both looked up, their faces full of questions. Caroline slowly shook her head and Celia instantly knew. She held out her arms but it was William who was the one to fill them.

"Hi Granny." He lay his head on her shoulder and hugged her tightly.

"Hello love. How are you?" The question was asked with love and concern.

"I don't know. I really don't know. Is it wrong of me to say that I don't think that I have a tear in me at the moment for dad?" He looked up at her, his face like that of a confused child.

"No love it isn't. We all have our own way of coping with things. You know when my dad died? I cried for a week afterwards. But when Kenneth died, I don't think I cried until the day of the funeral and I think that was only because everyone else was crying. I know it was different. I loved my dad but Kenneth was just, well, a habit really. "

William started to smile and then shook his head.

"He was my dad, I can't take that away from him. But I don't think I really knew who he was. We didn't have that much in common you know. Anyway, I am going to go up to my room if that is OK with everyone."

He stood up and took a quick glance at Flora, bending down to hold her hand briefly.

"Of course it is love. You give me a shout if you want anything."

Caroline hugged him and William left the room. She sat at the side of Celia who patted her knee.

"And how are you?"

"Honestly mum? I am a bit like William I guess. I am sad that he is dead, of course I am. My boys have lost their dad. But I haven't felt anything for him for a long time now. I don't know how I am expected to behave."

Celia sighed. "You're not expected to be anything love. No one will judge you if you don't turn into a gibbering wreck and start crying all the time. And no one will think any worse of you if you hold your head up high and stay strong for the boys."

"It's just strange mum. And it could have been so different. What if it had been Kate who had died and I was having to make all the funeral arrangements? I am not sure that I would be able to cope. But I guess I would have to for Flora's sake. Now I am arranging the funeral of my ex-husband who actually very nearly kil …."

Caroline stopped in mid-sentence.

"Come on little one. Your mummy wants to see you." Caroline moved to take Flora but Celia spoke up.

"Hang on lady. You're going nowhere until you have finished that sentence off. John very nearly what?" Celia was holding onto the baby.

"Nothing mum. It doesn't matter. Really it doesn't."

"Oh yes it does. Yes it does doesn't it Alan?"

Alan looked from Celia to Caroline and back to Celia.

"Not if Caroline doesn't want to tell us. She's a grown woman Celia. Let her get off and see Kate."

Celia started to hand the baby over and then had a sudden change of mind. She held Flora close and stared at Caroline, her mouth open wide.

"You were going to say that John very nearly killed Kate weren't you? You were, weren't you?"

"No. No, I was going to, what I was going to say was, it was like this err"

"You make a rubbish liar Caroline, you always have done. You must get that from me because your dad was one of the best. What the hell was John doing on the day that Kate had her accident? I thought he was over with Gillian."

Caroline sighed and sat down, her head in her hands.

"I don't know mum. I never got a chance to ask John did I? What I do know is that when they pulled John's car out of the river, there was a call out on the same make and model. Forensics did some tests and they found damage to the front of it that was consistent with how Kate had been hit. They examined Kate's cardigan and they found paint matching John's car. To make matters worse, he had been drinking and was over the limit." Caroline paused to let everyone take in the information.

"Do the boys know?"

Caroline shook her head.

"How can I tell them mum? William loved Kate, he will be very upset. And Lawrence. Well, I suspect that Lawrence will turn it round on Kate and blame her for John's death. He already thinks she is the one who split up my marriage. And he hates the baby, did you know? He won't even acknowledge her. And she knows I am sure of it. Every time he walks past her, she stops crying and looks round. It's like she wants to be good, wants him to know she is there."

Caroline folded her hands together and placed them on her lap, leaning forward towards Celia.

"What I am I going to do mum?"

"I tell you what you are going to do" said Alan. "You are going to wrap up this little one in her nice pink coat and hat and take her to see her mummy. And me and your mum are going to have a chat with the boys and try to make them see things straight. And I won't take no for an answer."

Alan stood up and held out his arms to Caroline. They hugged and she kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you. I mean it, I really do."

* * *

><p>Just as Caroline was leaving the house, Gillian pulled into the drive way at speed, churning up the gravel with the wheels of the land rover. She was out and walking towards the door before the engine had even stopped.<p>

"Gillian. Is everything alright?"

Gillian spun round.

"Sorry Caroline, I didn't see you. Yes, it's fine, yes. Is my dad in your house or with Celia? I need to speak to him. It's kind of urgent."

"Yes, I gathered that with the way you were driving. Is everything OK with Raff and the baby?"

"Yes, sorry. It's nothing like that. It's Gary. I need to speak to dad about Gary. I've found something out and I need to tell him before someone else does. Is he there? Caroline. "

Caroline shook her head.

"Sorry Gillian, I was, well, I was just thinking. Yes, he err Alan is in my mums flat. They just went round there. Is there anything I can do, that I can help with?"

Gillian wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"No thanks. No, this is a family matter. I'll just go and knock then shall I?"

"Yes, sure. You know the way." Caroline flung her arm in the direction of the back garden.

As Gillian disappeared around the corner, Caroline muttered under her breath.

"Family matter? She's my step sister. That's family isn't it?"

"Hello love." Alan was very surprised to see Gillian. "Celia, it's Gillian. Our Gillian is here."

Celia popped her head round the corner from the kitchen.

"Hello love. I was just making a cuppa. Do you want one?"

"Please. Yes please Celia. That would be lovely."

Gillian was standing with her hands in her pockets, nervously looking down at Alan and wondering how to tell him.

"Dad, I need to tell you this thing. Well you see Gary has been trying to get hold of. Oh shit. Right. Gary has offered to put some money into the farm. And he well, he got a bit shirty with Raff the other day and …"

Alan sat forward. "He did what to our Raff?"

"He got a bit shirty. Nothing heavy or owt. He just shouted at him a bit cos he said that we wouldn't sell the farm."

"Who did?"

"Raff." It was almost shouted. "Raff said that we wouldn't sell the farm. Thing is dad, Gary wants to get his hands on the farm. And Robbie, well, Robbie did a quick check on that computer system thingy that they use at the station and Gary has been involved in some dodgy property deals. And I think that he wants to get his hands on our farm and the land and may be sell it off to some big shot property dealer or something. Shit! Does this makes sense? Dad. Dad. Dad."

Alan was staring at the far wall, his elbow resting on the arm of the sofa and his hand playing with his ear.

"Are you sure Gillian? 'Appen you got it wrong. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Aww thanks dad. Thanks for the confidence you have in me. I'm right this time. I would bet my savings on it. What are we going to fu flaming well do?"

* * *

><p>Kate was slowly walking around her bed when Caroline entered the room. She practically threw herself into Caroline's arms and hugged her tightly. Caroline placed one hand on the side of her face and turned it around so that she could kiss her. Kate responded and kissed her back with building passion before finally pulling away, a little breathless.<p>

"Wow. Well, that was a very nice welcome. And good morning to you too Mrs McKenzie Dawson."

Caroline smiled at her and kissed her again.

"And Flora says hello too."

Kate looked down at the baby and beamed at her.

"Hello Flora. And how are you today?" She bent down as far as she was able to and tried to unfasten her.

"Here, let me."

Caroline quickly placed the car seat on the bed and unfastened the straps, allowing Kate to pick Flora up and cradle her.

"Oh, I have missed her so much." She cooed at the baby and stroked her chin while Caroline stood by and watched.

"Oh my God Caroline, I am so sorry, I forgot to ask. What happened with John? Is he OK?"

Caroline looked down at the floor and shook her head.

"No. No he isn't. He err he passed away this morning."

Kate placed the baby back in the car seat and hugged Caroline, this time with tenderness and compassion. She stroked her hair back off her face and whispered in her ear.

"I am so sorry Caroline. I am so very very sorry. How are you? How are you really?"

Caroline clung onto Kate as if she were drowning.

"I don't know. No one wrote a manual for this did they. Or if they did, it wasn't on my reading list. I am just going from one day to the next, treading water most of the time."

"I feel so helpless Caroline, sat in here. I can't help you with Flora, I can't help you manage the house. I can't even be there for you and hold you while you grieve. It isn't helping my recovery you know. I need to be at home with you."

"You need to be here where the doctors can keep an eye on you and where you won't be able to do too much and get tired. You will be home this time next week, I am sure of it."

Kate finally let go of Caroline and walked back over to the baby.

"And not a moment too soon either. I have really missed you all. If the start of our married life together is anything to go by, we had better buckle up for a bumpy ride."

"Talking of bumpy rides, guess who flew up the drive this morning, wheels spinning and guns blazing? Gillian. Yep, couldn't get to Alan fast enough. I said "He's round there" and then she was gone. My mum won't be happy if she burst into the flat before she had finished reading the Daily Mail." Caroline was deadly serious and Kate couldn't help laughing at her.

"What? What? What's funny?" and then Caroline suddenly understood and she burst out laughing too.


	8. Chapter 8

"What are you insinuating Gillian?" Celia placed the tea tray on the table and sat down. "Are you saying that Gary isn't who he says he is and he is just after the farm and the land?"

"I'm not saying that but no one has done a DNA test have they? How can we be absolutely sure that he is dad's son? Ey? Someone tell me that. No, you can't can you? And I do think he has been a bit keen to get his hands on the farm."

Alan shook his head. "Well, I er I don't know. All the dates add up and I did go with his mother. Just the once mind." He looked over at Celia. "What do you think love? Should I ask him for a DNA test?"

"It's not up to me is it?" Celia shrugged. "But if he is your son, and why would he lie, why did he wait until now to find you? After 40 sum years, why now? Hasn't that been bothering you?"e lHe lHH

Alan sat with his elbow on the arm of the sofa, his head resting on the palm of his hand.

"It did cross my mind a time or two. But why would he lie?"

Gillian stood in front of him and bent over.

"To get his hands on the bloody farm you twillock."

The penny suddenly dropped with Alan and he started to speak, struggling to find the words.

"Why the …. But how ….. I don't understand."

"Finally. Finally he gets it."

Gillian lifted her hands up in frustration.

"So. He keeps saying that we don't get in touch often enough. I think you need to pick up the phone and ask him over don't you? But don't tell him what for. Make him think we want him as a sleeping partner in the farm. Then we will confront him and see what he has to say about it all."

Alan reached into his trouser pocked and dug out his mobile phone. He found Gary's number and dialled it. It didn't take him long to answer.

"Alan! Hello, hello. How are you?"

"Grand thanks. How's things with you?"

"Good, yes, good. I was beginning to think that I had done something to upset you or that you were beginning to regret me tracking you down."

"Oh no, nowt like that lad. We've been a bit busy here since Kate's accident. You know, what with the baby and Caroline flitting too and from the hospital and then John's car crash. We've had a lot to deal with this end. It really wasn't about you." Alan rolled his eyes at Celia and she motioned for him to calm down a little bit.

"Anyway, things are getting back to normal now and we wanted to err Celia and me wanted to invite you and Felicity over for a spot of supper one night. To Celia's little flat. Well, our little flat. What are you doing on Friday night?"

Gary didn't need to check his diary or check with Felicity whether they were free.

"Yes we are free on Friday night. I'll see you then. Good to hear from you Alan."

"You too lad. See you Friday."

Gary put the phone down sat behind his desk, spinning the chair round. He stretched his legs out in front of him and looked through the window. He was reeling them in again. It wouldn't be long before he had them eating out of his hands and signing the farm and the land over.

In Harrogate, Alan looked over at Celia and Gillian.

"Well done dad. I think we've got him back on side again. I can't wait to see his silly fu …. face when he realises that we have cottoned onto his little plan."

* * *

><p>Caroline was excited to be collecting Kate from the hospital. The doctors were very pleased with the progress she had made and although Kate would still need time at home to recover, she no longer needed to be in hospital.<p>

When she reached the front door of the hospital, Kate stood for a while and looked up at the sky, her eyes closed. She breathed in and smiled.

"It feels so good to be outside with the sun on my face. I thought that, well, I thought that perhaps "

Caroline interrupted.

"You think too much sometimes, did anyone ever tell you that? Things are going to be just fine. " And she took her arm and gently led Kate to the car.

Celia and Alan were waiting for them when they arrived home and stood on the doorstep holding Flora between them. They smiled and waved at Kate as Caroline pulled up in the jeep.

"When I moved in here with you, into your family home, the house you bought with John, it felt strange. But now I look at this as my home. And it does feel good to be back."

Caroline reached over and patted Kate's knee. She looked at her with love and tenderness.

"This will always be your home Kate. As long as we want it to be that is. We might want to buy a smaller place when we are old and infirm."

They laughed and Kate leaned in to kiss Caroline. She winced slightly.

"Come on. Let's get you inside and comfortable. I can't wait for you to see what I have done upstairs. It was all a bit rushed you understand but it works well."

Kate suddenly realised something.

"Gosh, this is the first time I have been home as a mum with Flora. I had completely forgotten that we still had some things to do before she arrived, before the accident. I am sure it will look lovely."

They slowly walked up the steps and Alan reached out his hand for Kate. He pulled her towards him and kissed her on the cheek.

"Welcome home love. It is so nice to see you again."

"You too Alan. Thank you so much for keeping an eye on this little one."

"It was no bother. I had enough practice with Calamity so it was all fresh up here." He tapped the side of his head and chuckled.

Celia moved to one side and let Kate through.

"I'll put the kettle on and then you can catch up with Flossy. I think she has missed her other mummy."

"And her other mummy has missed her too."

* * *

><p>John's funeral was a quiet affair with just family and a few close friends. Although he always thought he was a popular person, he actually didn't have very many friends. He was tolerated by most and liked by few.<p>

Caroline had tried to get in touch with Judith to let her know what had happened to John but she wasn't returning any of her texts or phone calls. She hadn't said why she wanted to speak to her, just that she needed to tell her something. It was her choice not to get in touch and although Caroline didn't understand it, she had to respect it.

Caroline was a little shocked when Kate had said she didn't want to go. She said she would feel uncomfortable going to her wife's ex-husband's funeral. Caroline would have made more of it had Kate not been recovering from her accident but she didn't feel it was appropriate.

"No. No, honestly it's fine. It's your choice." Caroline was in the kitchen clearing up after breakfast.

"It clearly isn't Caroline. I can tell by the way you are wiping that counter."

"No, it really is. Let's just forget about it shall we? You don't want to go, that's fine."

Kate was ready to argue her point but thought better of it. Caroline was going to have a tough enough day without her adding to the stress. So she stayed at home with Flora.

Caroline was on the front row with her boys on either side of her. William held up very well and only cried when the curtains closed around the coffin. Lawrence on the other hand was a mess from the start of the service and he openly wept throughout.

When the guests were filing out of the chapel, Caroline greeted everyone, shaking hands with them and thanking them for coming. The boys hung back, choosing who they would talk to. There was no get together arranged for afterwards, which Caroline was glad of, so everyone went their own way. There was only the immediate family left.

"How are you love?" Celia walked over to Lawrence and put her arm around his shoulder.

"OK granny, I guess. Why did this have to happen to my dad?"

"No one knows why these things happen. We just have to deal with them and move on."

"But I don't want to move on." Lawrence looked like a small child as he said it. "I want my dad. I wish Kate had died instead. Why did she have to get better and dad didn't?"

"Now then lad, don't let your mum hear you talking like that." Alan moved in and stood on the other side of Lawrence.

"Why not? It's true. I hate what she did to my mum and dad. If she hadn't have come on to my mum, her and dad would still be married. And why did they have to have a baby? I hate that baby."

William pushed him and walked away.

"You are such a dick do you know that?"

Lawrence stared at him.

"And you're a dick too. Just because you fancy her. You won't turn her you know. I hate Kate end of. I'm not going to lie to you or to anyone."

Caroline walked over to the group, taking big strides and looking very angry.

"This is neither the time nor the place for this. I think you have made your feelings about Kate and your sister perfectly clear. Now can we just be civil for the guests and continue this at home?"

"She's not my sister though is she? She doesn't even have anything to do with you."

Caroline folded her arms across her chest and glared at Lawrence.

"Whether you like it or not, she is my daughter. So that makes her your sister. And please call her Flora."

Lawrence looked at Alan and then at Celia and took a deep breath.

"I hate her. Did you know that? And just in case you didn't hear, I hate Kate too. I wish she had died instead of my dad."

Caroline opened her mouth and gasped. She quickly brought her right hand up as if to hit Lawrence and then thought better of it. Calmly, she rubbed the back of her head and refolded her arms.

"How dare you! How dare you wish that on any one." Caroline was furious. "Let me tell you something shall I? If Kate had died, which she didn't, but if she had, it would have been your father's fault. Your father, the one who you think did nothing wrong all his entire life. The one who went off and had an affair with an alcoholic. Or had you forgotten about that? No, I thought not. Anyway, shall I tell you why? Why it would have been your father's fault? Because he was the one who hit Kate while she was crossing the road. He was the one who hit her because he was too bloody pissed to see her."

Caroline was red in the face and was almost screaming at Lawrence. Her arms were animated and she was moving closer to him.

"So don't you ever, ever say that you wished Kate was dead. Kate is the kindest and gentlest person that I have ever met and she has been nothing but nice to you. I feel for you, I really do. No one should have to lose a parent at such a young age. But you need to grow up and get real Lawrence. Because if you don't, then life will be one heck of a shock for you."

Caroline composed herself and then turned to Celia. Her voice was calm and controlled.

"I will be in the car. If you would like to join me then that is fine. If not, you will have to find your own way home and I will see you there."

With her head held high, she walked away and up the slope towards the funeral car and William, who had been watching the whole proceedings with tears streaming down his face. He suddenly hated his dad – not for almost killing Kate but for not accepting responsibility for it.

* * *

><p>When Caroline arrived back home, Kate was sat in the garden with Flora on her lap. She dropped her bag on the chair in the kitchen and went out to her.<p>

"Hello."

Kate looked up at her and tilted her head.

"Oh hello."

"Listen, I'm sorry about this morning. About what I said. Of course you shouldn't have gone to the funeral if you didn't want to. And I should have understood that."

"Just because we are married doesn't mean that we are shackled together Caroline. I am still very much my own person."

"Of course, of course you are. And I didn't mean, well I didn't want to. Yes, yes, you are right. How have my 2 favourite girls been?" Caroline softened and bent down and kissed first Kate and then Flora.

"We have been having fun haven't we? We have sung "Dingle Dangle Scarecrow" 3 times and "Row Row Row your Boat" twice. And then I couldn't remember any other songs and Flora fell asleep."

Caroline laughed.

"Are you coming inside? There's no one here but me and the boys. Oh, and mum and Alan. I thought that I would fix us all a spot of lunch."

Caroline took the baby from Kate and helped her up out of the chair. She was still a little bit tender where she had had the operation. They walked into the house arm in arm.

Celia and Alan were in the kitchen making some sandwiches. William was making drinks.

"Hello Kate. Do you want a drink of something?"

"Yes please William. I'll have a coffee if you are making one."

William smiled and took Kate's cup out of the cupboard. He was just putting the coffee in the percolator when Lawrence walked into the kitchen. He took one look at Kate and turned around to walk out again.

"Lawrence." Caroline spoke directly and assuredly. Lawrence turned round.

"Are you joining the rest of our family for lunch?"

Lawrence took in everyone's faces, including Kate and Flora.

"Our family? You mean Granny, Alan and William?"

"No, I mean me and my wife, your brother and your sister and your granny and granddad."

Lawrence puffed out his cheeks and blew through his lips.

"How long do you want me to pretend for mum?"

Kate looked over at Caroline who was looking increasingly uncomfortable. Kate interjected.

"I am sorry that your dad has died Lawrence. My dad has alzheimers and although he is still alive, he hasn't been with me for a long time. In his mind, I haven't even been born yet."

Lawrence glared at Kate.

"And your point is?"

"My point is that I miss him every single day. No one expects you to forget your dad and stop thinking about him, loving him, missing him."

"This isn't about my dad. This is about you. Haven't you got that yet?"

Kate looked from Lawrence to Caroline and back again, a puzzled look on her face.

"Lawrence, this conversation is over. If you are not going to be civil to Kate, you need to leave the room."

"She doesn't know does she? You haven't told her have you? Dad is dead because of you. The car crash was no accident. He did it on purpose because he knocked you down and he couldn't live with what he had done."

The room went quiet and Kate slumped into the nearest chair, the colour draining quickly from her face.


	9. Chapter 9

The room was silent and everyone turned and looked at Lawrence. William looked like he was going to cry and he busied himself with making the coffee.

"Is this true Caroline?" Kate looked confused and wanted answers. "Please tell me this isn't true."

Lawrence was just about to speak when Caroline held her hand up to him and got in there first.

"Enough. You have said more than enough Lawrence."

Lawrence turned to walk out of the kitchen but was stunned by his mum's reaction.

"Do not move. Don't you dare move. You will come back in here and sit down." She was using her school voice, a voice that Alan and Celia were not used to hearing. They were both shocked and tried to make themselves invisible.

Caroline walked over to Kate and placed an arm around her shoulders. She pulled her into her and Kate nestled her head on her stomach, stroking her arm.

"I am sorry that you had to find out like this. I was going to tell you, I was, but I wanted to find the right time. Telling you within 5 minutes of being home with our new daughter was not the right time." She glared over at Lawrence who lowered his head and looked down at the floor.

"Lawrence is right I'm afraid. John was the one who knocked you down when you were coming out of the shop. It was an accident. A stupid accident probably caused by a momentary lack of concentration."

"So why didn't he stop? Why did he drive off if it was an accident, presuming it was an accident?" It was Celia that asked the question.

"Of course it was an accident mum. He had spent the night in Halifax at the farm and was on his way home. I have no doubt that he and Gillian had been toasting our wedding and they had both consumed large amounts of alcohol. John would have been barely sober when it happened."

Celia looked at Alan.

"I didn't know that. You didn't tell me that Alan."

"I didn't know either. You know what our Gillian's like." He was frowning, trying to make sense of it all and put all the pieces into place.

"Anyway." Caroline continued. "For whatever reason, he wasn't looking, he hit Kate and he panicked. According to the blood tests he was still drunk and he panicked. He got back in his car and started to drive back to Halifax, no doubt to ask Gillian what to do and to hide out for a while. Only he never made it back there. The police say he fell asleep at the wheel, lost control of the car and ended up in the river. He suffered massive head injuries – his old car didn't have air bags – and that is what killed him. His injuries, not his guilt."

Caroline walked over to the window and looked out into the garden. She folded her arms and turned around to face her family.

"So now you know. I am sorry that you all had to hear it this way. Has no one got anything to say? Lawrence? You had plenty to say 10 minutes ago. Haven't you got anything to say now?"

"I don't understand. I thought that .."

"Well, you know what thought did don't you?" Caroline walked over to Lawrence and stood over him.

"I am very disappointed in you Lawrence. You have gone out of your way to make Kate feel very uncomfortable in her own home. You have done nothing but complain about Flora since I brought her home. She is a baby for goodness sake. Of course she cries. You cried. Non stop for about 3 days when I first brought you home." She looked lovingly at Lawrence. "But that is no excuse for the way that you have been behaving with everyone. It's time you grew up and realised that the world does not revolve around you. As much as you think it does and would like it to, it does not."

Caroline stopped to draw breath and to gauge the reaction of everyone in the room. Lawrence surprised her and took over the conversation.

"Do you know how hard this has been for me? My dad took off with another woman who didn't even know what day it was most of the time. She had a hard job even remembering my name. And dad dragged me to his dirty little flat to stay with him and I hated it. When he came back here to live I thought you were getting back together again. Then you moved her …. you moved Kate in. And things were never the same again. And all the time, I was made to take sides."

Caroline stared at Lawrence.

"Is that what you think? Is that how we made you feel, like you were made to take sides?"

Lawrence looked at William to back him up but William turned around and walked over to the fridge.

"Yeah, pretty much. You would make me do homework and dad would tell me that I didn't have to. Then dad would refuse to give me money for the cinema so you would give it to me. All the time I went from hating you and loving dad to loving you and hating dad. I didn't know what to do, what to think."

Caroline looked desperately at him and held out her arms. Lawrence almost ran into them, crashing against her and knocking her backwards. He flung his arms around her waist and squeezed her tight and started to sob. Uncontrolled sobbing that wracked his body and left him breathless. Caroline gently rocked him from side to side and smoothed his hair, kissing the top of his head and making calming sounds to him.

"I had no idea. I had no idea that was how you felt. Why didn't you tell me?" Caroline held him at arms length and looked into his face.

"I tried mum, I did. But you were busy with the school inspection and then you started seeing Kate and then there was granny and Alan and then oh I don't know. And then everything just got out of hand and I hated you all. I even hated granny."

Celia looked over at him and smiled.

"I gathered that much from the way that you and Angus were acting that night when I had to watch you. Getting drunk in the kitchen, tying each other to the kitchen chair. I've never seen anything like it in my life."

"What? Why didn't I know about this? Mum? Alan?" Caroline put her hands on her waist and tried to look angry at them all but the truth was that she couldn't do it. She smiled and looked down at Kate who was still sat on the chair somewhat shell shocked.

"And how are you feeling Kate? I am sorry you had to hear about things this way. And I am sorry that this all kicked off on your first day home from hospital. Is there anything that I can do for you? Are you hungry?"

Kate stood up and walked around the kitchen to where Flora was gurgling away in her car seat. She unfastened the straps and picked her up.

"No, thank you. I am going to take this little one up stairs and we are going to have a nap. I think the both of us have had enough excitement for one morning."

* * *

><p>It was mid-afternoon when Caroline went upstairs to check on Kate and the baby. She was sat up in bed with her knees bent up and Flora was resting on them. Kate was softly singing to her.<p>

Caroline sat on the end of the bed and watched them for a while.

"Kate, listen. I'm sorry. I really am. I didn't want to keep this from you but I didn't want to upset you either. I would have told you."

Kate looked up at Caroline and smiled. She reached out her hand to her.

"It's fine. It just came as a bit of a shock to me. You could have prepared me that's all."

"I never wanted you to hear about it this way. I didn't think that Lawrence would blurt it out the way he did."

"Oh, he came in earlier to see me. Did you send him?"

Caroline looked at Kate, her eyes wide with shock.

"No, I did not. What did he say? I hope he wasn't rude to you."

"Quite the opposite. He actually apologised. He said he was sorry he had been rude, sorry that he had made me feel unwelcome and sorry that he had not wanted me around. And, and you won't believe this, he actually asked if he could hold Flora. He sat in the chair by the window and cuddled her for a good 10 minutes while he was telling me about school and the trouble he and Angus got into. But he did make me promise not to tell anyone because he didn't want anyone to think he had gone soft."

Caroline smiled, her eyes full of tears.

"Well, I'll be …. Perhaps he has grown up and started to take responsibility for his actions."

Caroline stood up and took the baby from Kate. She lay her gently in the cot and covered her legs with a blanket. Kicking off her shoes, she sat on the side of the bed and swung her legs up so she was lying facing Kate.

"I've really missed you. I mean really missed you. This bed has been so empty without you." She leaned forward and kissed her.

Kate kissed her back and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I've missed you too. When I was in hospital, I think I dreamt about you. In fact, I know I did. I dreamt that we were sat in the garden having a picnic. You, me and Flora. And William and Lawrence were playing football together. I remember thinking that I didn't want it to end."

Caroline smiled at her and pulled her closer.

"And it never will end. You and me will be together forever. Remember when we were in school that day and you told me that you wanted to have a baby? Well I said that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. And I meant it. Apart from our wedding vows, I don't think I have meant anything as much."

Kate threw her arms around Caroline and hugged her tight. She forgot about the pain in her side. All she wanted was to be close to Caroline, to be one with her, and to never let her go.

* * *

><p>Gillian was pacing around the kitchen, wringing her hands nervously and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Alan was sat in the living room with Celia and Alan. Neither of them was really watching the television. Both of them were lost in their own thoughts and in what they would say to<p>

Gary when he turned up.

Gillian jumped at the sound of the car in the yard outside and the beam of lights that shone through the kitchen window.

"Shit. Shit. Dad, Celia. Gary and Felicity are here."

She grabbed a bottle of wine off the shelf and started to open it. Nervously, she lay out the glasses.

Gary knocked on the door and walked straight in.

"It's only me. Evening."

Celia looked over her shoulder at him.

"Oh, hello. Are you on your own?"

Gary looked embarrassed.

"Er yes. Felicity had a long day at work and she has a banging headache. I said you wouldn't mind if she didn't come. You don't mind do you Alan?"

"No lad. No, that's fine. " He raised an eyebrow to Gillian who was leaning on the wall between the kitchen and the living room.

"Can I get you a drink Gary?" She held up the bottle of red wine that she had just uncorked.

"Just a small one. I'm driving tonight." He walked awkwardly to the side of the settee and looked down at Celia and Alan.

"How's things? How are Caroline and er er Kate. Yes how are they both? And the baby?"

"Oh, they're doing just fine. It was John's funeral today so the boys are a little well you know. A little bit upset. But the ladies are good. Flora has settled down now and they are in a routine with her. She is such as sweet baby. Isn't she Alan?"

Alan looked a little distracted.

"What? Oh, yes. She is a lovely little baby."

Gillian sensed that Alan was nervous and joined them all in the living room.

"Supper will be about 10 minutes. I hope you are hungry. There is a big pot of chilli on the stove and some bread baking. So Gary, how has your week been?"

Gary turned round to Gillian. He thrust his hands deep into his pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet.

"I have a marvellous week thank you. Raff popped by on Monday and took on some extra shifts. They'll fit around his school work of course. And then I got invited here to have supper with you. So all in all, it's been a pretty good week. So, tell me about your week. How is the farm? Have you sold many sheep at market this week? Mended any fences? Put up any new walls?"

Gillian pinched her bottom lip between her thumb and finger.

"Well, you see, the thing is, things have been great at the farm this week. 4 ewes gave birth so we have some new lambs. Good ones an all they are. And we sold one of the rams at market for a good price so that will pay the fuel bills for a few months over the winter. And the crops in the top field are doing well so we should have some fodder for the animals as well. Yup, a good week for us all things considering. Wouldn't you say so dad?"

Alan looked at Gary and slapped his hands on his thighs. He lifted himself up off the settee and looked out of the window. Then he turned around.

"I'm sorry Gillian. I'm sorry but I can't do this any more. I can't sit here and pretend that we are all one big happy family. Because we aren't are we Gary? Huh? I know all about you. Don't think that I haven't been doing a bit of digging into you. Our Gillian is going to be marrying a policeman. We know people you know."

Celia looked up at him and raised her eyebrows as a silent sign for him to stop.

"There is no way on God's earth that you are getting your hands on this farm. End of. Absolutely no way. This lass has worked her hands to the bone, day and night and in all blasted weathers. She has seen lambs born and she has seen lambs die. This is in her blood. Do you hear me? In her blood. And I won't stand by and let you take it away from her, legitimately or not. So if that is all that you are here for, all that you want from us, you can turn around and get into your flash car and bugger off. Do you hear me?"

Alan was red faced and breathless by the time he had finished and Celia stood up and put her hand on his arm.

"See what you have done? Alan's not well you know. He has a problem with his heart. I don't want him getting all upset."

Gary was speechless. He opened his mouth a few times as if he was going to talk and then walked over to the window.

"Do you really think this is all I want from you? Do you think that I want to take the farm from under you and sell it to some property dealer and build a rural housing estate out here."

Gillian was quick to interrupt.

"We never said anything about any property dealer. You fu … You twat. How could you? How could you track down my dad and act all "Oh, I've been looking for you for years" and "I didn't know you existed until last year". What a load of bollocks. All this time you have wanted to fleece us out of this farm and make a quick buck. You disgust me Gary Jackson. I feel sick just looking at your face."

Gary didn't know what to say. He was still staring out of the window, his shoulders hunched and his feet shuffling.

"I can't believe that … I can't believe "

"For God sake lad, don't insult our intelligence." Alan was quick to move to the side of him. "At least credit us with something. You turn up out of the blue flashing your cash about, giving our Raff a job and offering to pay for Gillian's wedding. And for what? To get to know me? No. So that you can get your hands on this land, on the farm that our Gillian has built up from nothing. You really are something. If I were 10 years younger, I would knock the living daylights out of you."

"Now now love. Calm down. You don't want to go making yourself poorly. Gary, I think you had better go. I don't think that Gillian or Alan want you here. You need to cut your losses and get out while you can. Any bridges you have built have been well and truly burned."

The three of them were now stood side by side facing Gary. He turned around and looked at them.

"Felicity said you were nothing more than country bumpkins stuck in the dark ages. And you know what? She was right. I could have made a right killing for you from this land. I had a property developer lined up ready to sign the papers. But you are too stupid to know when you are onto a good thing. I wouldn't have robbed you blind. You would have got what was owed to you. But no, you think that everyone is out to get you."

Gillian stepped forward.

"I don't want to sell this land Gary. I don't want to sell the farm. Believe it or not, I like being a farmer. I like spending time with the sheep even in the winter when we have 12 foot snow drifts. This is what gets me out of bed in a morning. Now I think you had better leave."

Like a well trained sheep dog, she started to herd him towards the door.

"I would leave us well alone for a while if I were you. If you know what is good for you that is. The mess you have made in our lives, the chaos you have created, is more than we need at the moment."

Gillian leaned forward and opened the door.

"Good evening Gary. Drive safely."

Without looking back, Gary walked down the steps and across the yard. He got into his car and drove down the farm track.

"Are you ok love?" Celia rested her head on Alan's shoulder and held his hand.

"Aye. Aye, I am. And I will be, with or without Gary Jackson."

* * *

><p>The sun was shining and Caroline had spread a rug out on the garden. She was just putting the last of the food on the table when William and Roxy came out through the French doors.<p>

"Do you need us to do anything mum?"

"No thank you. I think everything is just about ready." She smiled at them both. "It is so lovely to have you here you know."

"Thank you Doctor McKenzie-Dawson." Said Roxy.

"Oh, call me Caroline. Please. Calling me Doctor makes me sound so, well, so old I suppose." She put out both her hands and took hold of theirs.

"I can't believe that you have both been at university for a year now. It only seems like yesterday when dad was driving you off in his BMW filled to the roof with bags and boxes."

William smiled.

"I do miss him sometimes you know. I miss the way he used to analyse everything. How he used to refer to the old classics all the time and weave them into his stories. He wasn't a bad man was he mum?"

"Of course he wasn't. He was just a little inept sometimes. He loved you and Lawrence. I hope you know that."

William hugged Caroline.

"I know that mum. And I loved him too."

The pair were interrupted by the sound of Flora giggling. They looked around and saw Kate carrying her on her hip towards them. She raised her arms when she saw Caroline and gave her a huge smile.

"Hello my darling. And how are you?" Caroline reached out and took her off Kate. She kissed her nose and held her high above her head.

Kate stood at the side of her and put her arm around her waist. She kissed her on the cheek and whispered something in her ear. Caroline laughed and tilted her head towards her.

"Mrs McKenzie-Dawson! Not in front of the children, please." She turned around and looked at her. "You're very pretty."

"You're magnificent"

The two of them laughed and, taking her hand, Caroline led Kate towards the rug that was laid out in the middle of the lawn. She sat Flora down and propped a cushion behind her back. She was almost 6 months old now but still prone to falling over when she was unsupported.

Kate sat down cross legged and Caroline sat down in front of her and leaned backwards on her. Kate folded her arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Is this like forever?" Caroline asked.

"Do you really need to ask?" Kate replied.

* * *

><p><strong>This is the first time that I have ever turned my hand to writing and I am quite sad that this story has come to an end. But there are more planned!<strong>

**I would like to say a big "Thank You" to Sally Wainwright for giving us all these wonderful characters in the first place. **

**And I would also like to say thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read my story. **

**An even bigger thank you goes to everyone who has taken the time to leave me a review. Your kind words have meant so much and have kept be going. They all mean so much to me.**


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